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| dr baghead 3712th Post
 
Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master
    
    
    
     
     
|  "Kyo Jokes!" , posted Tue 4 Sep 08:54
quote:
I will freely admit to having been a big fan of the Chuck Norris fad...you know, before it got played out.
However, your Terry facts here are true win indeed.
I always thought the "Fuck Norris Facts" where funnier... So I sumbit this thread needs some Kyo Kusanagi Facts to prove how much better Terry is:
-The chief export of Kyo is worthless fire based attacks, his chief import is Iori Yagami.
-Kyo Kusanagi once fought Goenitz, Rugal, AND the Orochi single handedly... he got totally fucked up and was in the hospital for 8 months following.
-Kyo was shocked to learn Iori and Miss X where the same person... although it finally answered his question as to why they acted so similar in bed.
-Ryu once told Kyo to stop being such a boring main character.
-When asked what his favorite movie was Kyo replied "Who's your Caddy!!... HAHA! Just kidding, actually it's Stewart Little"
-If you can see Kyo, he can see you. If can't see Kyo, you might not realize how silly his new costume is this year.
-Kyo is always ready for a fight... unless it means missing "the Racheal Ray show"
-Kyo Kusanagi doesn't go hunting, hunting implies one *might* kill something... Kyo on long romantic strolls in the woods with Iori.
-Kyo Kusanagi's original costume design later became used on the character "Syo" it was rejected by Kyo because he thought is wasn't "douchebaggy" enough for his high standards.
-Kyo checks his in closet and under the bed every night for the boogieman because he's deathly afraid of him. Lucky for Kyo, the boogieman hasn't left his house since 1989 in fear Terry Bogard will beat his ass to a pulp.
Blanka and Dan make for a most excellent tag image (yeah still not funny)
my silly little drawin's
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| dr baghead 3714th Post
Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master
| "WTFOMGBBQKOF!!!" , posted Wed 5 Sep 19:43
W... T... F is that list?!?! It's the most insane and/or brilliant thing EVER
If you read them they pretty much break down to:
-Eat him
... seriously making him into food comes up too much
-Feed him
...make him fat is TWO entries
-Date him
.... maybe Iori wrote the list
-Humilate him
.... yeah, Iori would totally post nude pictures of Kyo on the web after kicking him in mud and making him say "who's your daddy", seeing Kyo broken really rages his storm (oh shit that's Geese's attack... it uh? Mashes his Madien? )
-Hit him
.... hitting a fighting game character? that's not even trying!
-Give him away
.... I wonder on all the "give/sell" ones, is the hypothetical person trying to "flip the bitch" and make a profit off Kyo or was Kyo something they came upon by mistake and just want to unload?
-Use him as an inanimate object replacement
....I really like that most of the objects he replaces aren't things a human do like 'cd player' or 'door bell'
-Use him as a heat source
.... logical!
-Give him a small task to perform
... have him cook, clean, read to you, watch kids. Stupid, well meaning, AND good at simple task it's like he's Kronk from Emperor's New Groove or something... perhaps #125 was "have him pull the lever!" and #126 "the OTHER lever!"
-Think of your dead dog while writting the list!
quote:
92:make him dinner
93:hug him
94:pat him on the head and say good boy
95:pet him
96:make him a big fat boy
97:hit him with a car
98:run him over
99:put him to sleep
seriously all of this is what you do with a dog (well 97 and 98 are things that happen TO a dog with 99 being what happens after 97&98)
The highlights in my opinion:
5:wall haggling
Kyo: I'll give you $5 for this wall
Wall Salesmen: Whoa, sorry bubs, this heres walls cost $7 no exceptions!
Kyo: $6
Wall Salesmen: Whadarya stoopid?! $7 or nothings for these heres walls!
Kyo: $6.50
Wall Salesmen: Okay, tells yous whats, if yous buys at least 6 and gets da fak outta my stores I'll sell 'em to yous for $6.85
Kyo: SOLD! I'm great at wall haggling!
10:saka
This reminds me of "Sokka" from Avatar, who unlike Kyo: totally rules!... which reminds me I've always wanted to join an Avatar forum with a tag for a fan pairing, such as "Azulaang" or "Zukotara" or whatever... but mine would be "Sokkatara" with the tag line "Forbidden fruits are always the sweetest." then wait to see how long until I was banned.
(seriously though what's a saka?)
11:show and tell thing
show and tell 'thing' not even 'bring him to show and tell' just 'show and tell thing' like "this is... eh, I don't care, I'll just check-minus"
19:twon idiot
Two on idiot? Taiwan idiot? To won idiot?
It is a mystery what that means to me
35:mail him somewhere
I love how in different this is too just walk him into the post office:
Postman: Where too?
You: Eh, somewhere
Step1:
39:clone him
43:for evil
Step 2:...
Step 3: Profit!
now we see why NESTS plan was doomed from the start!
54:give him to big beer
I assume this means "Big Bear"... or does it mean 'give him a big beer'? maybe give him to an actual big beer?
56:use chemicals on him
121:acid+kyo=hrut
This one just seems dickish
You: Hmmm this is some damn good grape juice, want some, Kyo?
Kyo: HELLS YEAH!
You: (tosses contents of cup in his face) ACID BITCH!!
Kyo: NOOOOS!!!! ARRRRGGGHHH!!! AAAAAAA!!!!
You: Acid + Kyo = Hurt... interesting, I'll note this in my science journal.
57:frazis him
111:make him tlake and sain the papers
Ferchrist sake! A lot of these I can guestimate but what the hell is "frazis him?" Fricassee him maybe? "French Nazis" him? is it some weird torture or sex act I've never heard of?
I assume 111 is "make him take and sign the papers"... but papers to what?!?!
61:make him lazy
Kyo: I'm going for a jog, then to the post office, then to the mall to return some shirts I bought that where too big, then wash the car, do some laundry, go to the market and get this weeks shopping done...
You: Duuuuude, you're gonna miss the Sci-Fi original movie "Ultra Spiders", it's like an all day marathon of this kinda shit!
Kyo: well I guess I can put off my plans for a half an hour...
(19 hours later)
Kyo: (slumping on the couch in his boxers) Oh, Raptorsaurus, you should have know better then to follow Eric Estrada into that tunnel... hey, man could you get me some more Ritz?!
You: Fuck you, get'em yourself
Kyo: eh... I'll just starve then...
74:make him read to you
but Kyo only reads crappily written stores about himself, preferably crappily written gay erotica about himself
33:put him in a yaoi fanfic
75:put him in a hentai fanfic
PERFECT!
90:kill his mom (his mom is crazy)
91:kill his bike
Is it sadder I thought "how do you kill a bike?" or "wait, Kyo has a mom who's apparently crazy... is that in the actual KOF cannon or just for this list?"
116:give him to godzilla (i hate godzilla)
I like the stressing of "i hate godzilla" like that was important (no seriously!)
123:make toys of him
118:sell him to toys .R.us
If you're not High Dream or Shocker Toys I'd suggest doing this.
120:have him pass out candy (this list is crazy and long)
He'd just eat all the smarties thinking they're brain pills and throw away all the M&M's because he thought they cheap knock-off "W&W" candy... that's right, this is now a blonde joke telling thread with 'blonde' replace with Kyo!
119:put him on the pa
who doesn't want to be on the PA? I've always wanted to get on the PA at Target and scream "attention shoppers: our 99% off school supply sale (or Halloween/X-Mas/whatever the big thing is at the time) sale only has 3 minutes left, you only have 3 minutes left to take advantage of our 99% off sale! make sure you get your items to the register quickly!" and watch the choas that ensues when people who just checked out go to costumer service to complain they weren't given a discount, people currently checking out complain they discount isn't rining up, and crowds trample each other to get to a que to make sure they make the sale... of course Kyo would probably be like "uh... uh... attention shoppers, I uh... I just farted! HA!" and be no fun.
50:fly him to the moon
Let him play among the stars. Let him see what spring is like on... Jupiter and Mars. In other words, hold his hand. In other words, Iori kiss him! Fill his heart with song and he will sing forever more. Iori is all he longs for, all he worships and adores. In other words, please be truuuuuue. In other words [Iori] he loves you!!!
Ring-a-ding-ding baby! (Sinatra style! None of that EVA end theme stuff here!)
and the funniest one:
37:lock him in a room of dogs
I'm sure they meant "angry attack dogs" but it reads like "just dogs" like he's just locked in a room filled with doggies until either he or the dogs is let out. Odd visual.
Blanka and Dan make for a most excellent tag image (yeah still not funny)
my silly little drawin's
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| Burning Ranger 1509th Post
Red Carpet V.I.P- Platinum Member
| "WINNER IS (NOT) KYO!" , posted Thu 6 Sep 09:51
quote:
... perhaps #125 was "have him pull the lever!" and #126 "the OTHER lever!"
127: Beat him up, steal his pass to KOF, and give it to Heavy D!
This thread is EPIC!
And now, more Terry Bogard jokes....
- The original title for "The King of Fighters '94" was "Terry Bogard '94." Had SNK stuck with that name, the current games in the series would be "Terry Bogard XI" and "Terry Bogard Maximum Impact 2".
- While Geese Howard hates Terry so much, even beyond the grave, he still respects him for one reason. We all know Geese used to have long hair. However, when Geese met Terry during the rehearsal for the Fatal Fury ending, he was so in awe with Terry's long locks that he cut his own hair. That's why you don't see Geese with long hair.
- Strands of Terry's hair are used as currency in Canada.
- Strands of Terry's hair are listed as an illegal drug in the US. Apparently, if you snort them, you take on a very wierd accent and have a tendency to Buster Wolf everything.
- Believe it or not, Terry Bogard has an awesome singing voice. After all, he sang the ending music for Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture.
- Terry Bogard is such an incredible fighter that he wasn't given a traditional job. Being an incredible fighter is his job.
- Clark Steel wears a flak vest and ball cap in hopes that could get powers like Terry.
Continue...
Advanced Cyborg E. Branger AKA Burning Ranger
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"Re(1):FUCK" , posted Sat 1 Sep 04:24
"Re(1):Terry Bogard Jokes?" , posted Sat 1 Sep 09:16
