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sabo10

1413th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Cool story..." , posted Fri 15 Aug 18:20

So today I was at my girlfriend's house, and we finally decide to have sex for the first time.

Wewere gonna do it on the couch in the living room, but at first she'sall nervous and says she wants to undress herself in the bathroom whileI undress out here. So I'm like ok whatever, that's fine CAUSE I'MGETTING FUCKING LAID!

So she goes in the bathroom, and I rip myclothes off, and stand there waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And I'mlike when the hell is she gonna come out? So I started getting nervous,like maybe she would change her mind, or maybe she was actually a dudeor something.

The longer it took, the more nervous I got. Whatwould I say to her when she came out of the bathroom? How would Iapproach her? Eventually I got so nervous that I couldn't hold it inanymore. I took a shit right there on the carpet.

I thought OHFUCK OH FUCK what am I gonna do? So I kinda kick it off to the side bythe bookcase and hope she won't notice it. She finally comes out of thebathroom, and I was sitting down on the couch all trying to look cool.But she instantly smells the poop and looks around and sees it andshe's like "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" So I try to play it offlike the cool guy I am, and I say "What do you think it is, baby?" andI make a face like ;D

She kicks me out and I didn't get laid.

I am now home alone posting on MMCafe on my Personal Computer.

Replies:

Iggy

8606th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(1):Cool story..." , posted Fri 15 Aug 18:28

Looks like ED is not closing after all, eh.

Arngrim

348th Post

Bronze Customer

"Re(1):Cool story..." , posted Fri 15 Aug 21:38

That would do fine on 4chan's /b/.

But I still want to quench your thirst.
Because I am the one that put you into the desert.

Tai-Pan

266th Post

Copper Customer

"Re(1):Cool story..." , posted Fri 15 Aug 23:23

You are supposed to take shits only after you've been married for years and you guys are trying new things. OR if both of you guys like that sort of thing. But, you were that nervous? Jesus!

"Those who follow the path of a warrior must be ready to die in order to stand for one's convictions live for one's convictions die for one's convictions"

Toxico

4429th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(2):Cool story..." , posted Sat 16 Aug 07:48

This is like a world war II love story.... And you'll be hearing about this for ever and ever and ever.

The only evil of the word; is the one in the heart of men

Amakusa

772th Post

Red Carpet Regular Member+

"Re(3):Cool story..." , posted Sat 16 Aug 13:34

I'm really glad I wasn't eating when I read that.

I found Kagami's sword in a junk yard.
I will rule the world and find that truly good cup of coffee.
"Dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-do."

Black_Hayato
220th Post

Frequent Customer

"Re(1):Cool story..." , posted Sat 16 Aug 14:20:

On the positive side. You'll probably never do that again. And if you ever meet a girl with a freaky side, that story may win you some points.

[this message was edited by Black_Hayato on Sat 16 Aug 17:12]

sabo10

1414th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Re(2):Cool story..." , posted Sat 16 Aug 21:32

Hello!

Did everyone like

my

Cool Story?

Tai-Pan

267th Post

Copper Customer

"Re(3):Cool story..." , posted Sun 17 Aug 03:03

quote:
Hello!

Did everyone like

my

Cool Story?

Yes it was cool indeed. I like it!!!
Have you spoken to her since?

"Those who follow the path of a warrior must be ready to die in order to stand for one's convictions live for one's convictions die for one's convictions"

Gojira

2421th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(3):Cool story..." , posted Sun 17 Aug 03:39

quote:
Hello!

Did everyone like

my

Cool Story?

Do you own lip gloss?

~~shipoopi~~

The Droogo

301th Post

Bronze Customer

"oh boy!" , posted Sun 7 Sep 11:08

quote:
Hello!

Did everyone like

my

Cool Story?

I liked because it´s not a cool story!
It could be more cool if you had do something more extreme like I don´t know... taking the piece of shit with your socks and hide it in the freeze then make love and says to you´r girl can you bring me some coca cola please I got tired f"·$%ing your p""$y off! hahhaah!

O ra o ra!
H.Y.A.L.M.A.R.I.

Maou

1479th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Re(2):Cool story..." , posted Sun 7 Sep 11:27:

quote:
That would do fine on 4chan's /b/.

AS A MATTER OF FACT
I win the game again. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the source this time. That was 13 seconds well-spent. Well, not really.

人間はいつも私を驚かせてくれる。不思議なものだな、人間という存在は．．．

[this message was edited by Maou on Sun 7 Sep 11:42]

nobinobita

397th Post

Silver Customer

"Re(3):Cool story..." , posted Sun 7 Sep 12:35

quote:
That would do fine on 4chan's /b/.
AS A MATTER OF FACT
I win the game again. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the source this time. That was 13 seconds well-spent. Well, not really.

Ah good ol Caltrops. I remember years ago they called all of us raging homosexuals for not totally loving God of War.

quote:
You don't shit when you're scared and you don't get scared when a girl takes a long time in a bathroom. What do you idiots think you're doing posting this garbage in here?

Believe me, you DO shit when you're scared. Especially when its a suprise!

Maou

1480th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Re(4):Cool story..." , posted Sun 7 Sep 13:03:

quote:

Ah good ol Caltrops. I remember years ago they called all of us raging homosexuals for not totally loving God of War.

Ah, I remember when I didn't know who the hell Caltrops even were other than a source of utility for finding copypasta 4ch junk. Heheh, wait, that's now. I actually did like God of War (II?)'s attitude, but hey.

人間はいつも私を驚かせてくれる。不思議なものだな、人間という存在は．．．

[this message was edited by Maou on Sun 7 Sep 13:06]

Tai-Pan

289th Post

Copper Customer

"Re(4):Cool story..." , posted Mon 8 Sep 11:02

quote:

Believe me, you DO shit when you're scared. Especially when its a suprise!

Well, never happened to me. And i hope it stays that way

"Those who follow the path of a warrior must be ready to die in order to stand for one's convictions live for one's convictions die for one's convictions"

jUAN

4476th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master